Kirsty Lee

 St Christopher’s Hospice is personal to my journey as they are supporting me with Bereavement Counselling. Most of you will know I lost my Mumma to this devastating disease but not many of you will know how deeply this really did effect and change my life and those closest to me and Mum. It forever changed my Mums life, the last at least 10+ years of her life were not what a woman of her brilliance should have  been put through. Personally I would have continued on that journey with her until I was old and grey, people would ask me how I am, how do I cope? At the time I didn’t care about myself, at the time I didn’t find it hard in a physical way, I just did it like it was second nature. I truly felt honoured to care for my Mum!! As much as I didn’t want to see her suffer and watch her change and deteriorate, a huge selfish part of me also wanted to keep her with me forever, I would have stayed by her side forever, I would have put my life aside and cared for her forever!! As mad as it sounds that was my dream, not the dream I had originally had but trauma shrinks you and your dreams and leaves you with pretty hopeless ones but a dream none the less. Unfortunately she had to leave. I understand that. As much as my selfishness wanted to keep her here I knew that was just a dream. One that was impossible now no matter the size of it. My dream now still involves my woman but in a more driven way to change her outcome through others, how others are cared for, treated and hopefully healed. I am continuing my personal journey in counselling with St Christopher’s Hospice. Honestly I didn’t hold much hope, over 20 years of being incredibly let down by mental health services I just couldn’t imagine what would lay ahead but St Christopher’s are amazing. The minute I walked through the door I’m greeted by a truly soft genuine smile. Everyone approaches you in the sweetest again most genuine manner. I know this should seem absolutely normal but I can tell you it’s not. So I have been sooo pleasantly surprised. I feel I can trust them, I feel safe!! I feel HOPEFUL!!! I want to encourage others to use the services of St Christopher’s Hospice and donate to them because they truly do care!!! They are a beacon of hope. A place to feel a moments relief. A moment of quiet in what normal feels like deafening, heavy, relentless pain and grief. I don’t have to put my mask on, I don’t have to put my best acting skills at play, I can be me. I’m so grateful to have met my counsellor and know how much a counsellor can change your life as my Mum was one and I have read countless letters from her clients who’s lives she changed and saved. Please, please I know you guys have donated towards the causes I have put your way and you guys are incredibly supportive and generous,. If you could also please support this one that means the world to me now, I’d be again so grateful. I know my Mum would be so proud of me for attending these sessions. I know she more than anyone knows how hard it was for me to step through those doors but the minute I did, it was different and in the best way!! I knew Mum was with me and I knew she was holding my hand. I know she’s so proud of me for wanting more from life and mostly for myself!! Please support this amazing charity, donate, look in to them, use them if you need to, don’t be scared. I’m more than happy to talk to any of you and help you access the services and provide information if you would like. Thank you so much for reading and again always being so supportive and amazing to me, to my Mum and to her story.